I've got a hundred reasons why I haven't blogged more often since we arrived. All of them are good and all of them are excuses. First it was a lack of Internet, then it was getting unpacked and then I felt lazy...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Excuses, excuses! So you wanna' know the truth?
The real reason is nothing has really happened to write about...and that's kind of anticlimactic in a way. I mean come on, a new country, a new life...what's up with that? Oh, I could find something to fill a post about, but I wanted something really news worthy. And it just hasn't happened.
Okay, so it isn't like we haven't done anything at all. We've made new friends, reconnected with old ones, visited some new places, but most of what we've done has just been prep work, feeling things out, nosing around, laying the groundwork. Truthfully, I'm not sure if some of the things I'd like to see happen actually will and so I hate to write about them. For instance...
Barbe and I went to La Lima last Saturday to meet a lady about doing some work in a children's home. The visit went well, but there is nothing definite. We have two BAM projects we are working on, but they are in the "talking" stage and besides, I don't feel at liberty yet to discuss them as they involve other people and other people's business. I went and looked at a potential site to drill a well. The man said he'd work on getting a permit, but he hasn't got back to me yet. See what I mean?
I'd love to show you some pictures of the church we've been attending the past two weeks. But I'm very hesitant to do that. There's no building, we meet outside under a tin porch roof, sitting in plastic chairs if there's enough to go around. The little, one room, adobe house the porch is attached to was built with Hope Coffee funds. Eight people live in this 12' by 20' (+/-) house and it's a huge improvement over what they lived in before. They're very poor.
Maybe I'll show you some pictures someday, but here's another thing that keeps me from writing. In some strange way, I know if I publish those photos I will be exploiting the poverty of these people for my own gain. You see, when confronted with poverty it's very easy to showcase it for the reaction it produces in those unused to it. I love being able to bring these people some relief from the hardships of life, but in a way, and I don't think I'm alone in this, it has a way of building one's self image when we parade it before the camera. That's not why I go there. These people are my friends, some of them are brothers and sisters in the faith. I go because each of these people are precious in the sight of God and I am no more valuable to Him than they are. But oh, how careful we must be.
It's easy to get a God complex down here. It really is. With the flip of a phone we can cause unimaginable blessings to rain down upon you, if you are one of the chosen ones. You pray, we answer. It's both wonderful and frightening at the same time. We swoop in, well fed, satisfied, with all the answers, all the solutions to all the problems...and leave just as easily, back to our nice homes with indoor plumbing and a weeks worth of food in the pantry and a credit card in our pocket and a pat on the back. How easily we leave behind the dirt, the hunger, the chill wind blowing through the glassless window. We of course know better, we are not God. We too have our problems, but what must it look like from the other side?
No, I don't want to be found guilty of exploiting my friends, or anyone for that matter. I'll show you pictures someday. Someday when I've earned the right to, because I've spent enough time there for them to call me friend.
Okay, so there's the "naked truth" Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, the only one who sometimes questions the darker side of my own motives in the stark light of reality. And even worse, dares to publish them. Nah, I can't be that different than the rest of humanity can I?
Now for the newsy stuff.
For the first time in my life, well since I was in my early twenties any way, we are on sort of a budget. We haven't really sat down and calculated exactly how many Limpiras a month we have coming in and how many going out, but when we do I'll share that with you too. I think you'll see why so many people are choosing to retire in "third world countries". Ha, don't let that those three little words fool you. Life is good here if you have a few dollars to bring with you.
Anyway, being shorter on cash than on time, (yes, I'm still unemployed...I hate that word) I have begun fixing things that I would have, in the old world, sent out for repair. I did brakes, an oil change and replaced a solenoid on the van. I have repaired the washer...twice. I have installed our newly purchased gas range and even fixed a copy machine belonging to a friend. I contracted a burglar to slip through the bars on the boys bedroom window to unlock their bedroom door. It's a good thing for us these kids are so thin here. None of us could have done it...and that's a fact, as my good friend Ted would say.
The real reason is nothing has really happened to write about...and that's kind of anticlimactic in a way. I mean come on, a new country, a new life...what's up with that? Oh, I could find something to fill a post about, but I wanted something really news worthy. And it just hasn't happened.
Okay, so it isn't like we haven't done anything at all. We've made new friends, reconnected with old ones, visited some new places, but most of what we've done has just been prep work, feeling things out, nosing around, laying the groundwork. Truthfully, I'm not sure if some of the things I'd like to see happen actually will and so I hate to write about them. For instance...
Barbe and I went to La Lima last Saturday to meet a lady about doing some work in a children's home. The visit went well, but there is nothing definite. We have two BAM projects we are working on, but they are in the "talking" stage and besides, I don't feel at liberty yet to discuss them as they involve other people and other people's business. I went and looked at a potential site to drill a well. The man said he'd work on getting a permit, but he hasn't got back to me yet. See what I mean?
I'd love to show you some pictures of the church we've been attending the past two weeks. But I'm very hesitant to do that. There's no building, we meet outside under a tin porch roof, sitting in plastic chairs if there's enough to go around. The little, one room, adobe house the porch is attached to was built with Hope Coffee funds. Eight people live in this 12' by 20' (+/-) house and it's a huge improvement over what they lived in before. They're very poor.
Maybe I'll show you some pictures someday, but here's another thing that keeps me from writing. In some strange way, I know if I publish those photos I will be exploiting the poverty of these people for my own gain. You see, when confronted with poverty it's very easy to showcase it for the reaction it produces in those unused to it. I love being able to bring these people some relief from the hardships of life, but in a way, and I don't think I'm alone in this, it has a way of building one's self image when we parade it before the camera. That's not why I go there. These people are my friends, some of them are brothers and sisters in the faith. I go because each of these people are precious in the sight of God and I am no more valuable to Him than they are. But oh, how careful we must be.
It's easy to get a God complex down here. It really is. With the flip of a phone we can cause unimaginable blessings to rain down upon you, if you are one of the chosen ones. You pray, we answer. It's both wonderful and frightening at the same time. We swoop in, well fed, satisfied, with all the answers, all the solutions to all the problems...and leave just as easily, back to our nice homes with indoor plumbing and a weeks worth of food in the pantry and a credit card in our pocket and a pat on the back. How easily we leave behind the dirt, the hunger, the chill wind blowing through the glassless window. We of course know better, we are not God. We too have our problems, but what must it look like from the other side?
No, I don't want to be found guilty of exploiting my friends, or anyone for that matter. I'll show you pictures someday. Someday when I've earned the right to, because I've spent enough time there for them to call me friend.
Okay, so there's the "naked truth" Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, the only one who sometimes questions the darker side of my own motives in the stark light of reality. And even worse, dares to publish them. Nah, I can't be that different than the rest of humanity can I?
Now for the newsy stuff.
For the first time in my life, well since I was in my early twenties any way, we are on sort of a budget. We haven't really sat down and calculated exactly how many Limpiras a month we have coming in and how many going out, but when we do I'll share that with you too. I think you'll see why so many people are choosing to retire in "third world countries". Ha, don't let that those three little words fool you. Life is good here if you have a few dollars to bring with you.
Anyway, being shorter on cash than on time, (yes, I'm still unemployed...I hate that word) I have begun fixing things that I would have, in the old world, sent out for repair. I did brakes, an oil change and replaced a solenoid on the van. I have repaired the washer...twice. I have installed our newly purchased gas range and even fixed a copy machine belonging to a friend. I contracted a burglar to slip through the bars on the boys bedroom window to unlock their bedroom door. It's a good thing for us these kids are so thin here. None of us could have done it...and that's a fact, as my good friend Ted would say.
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| Thomas and I fixing the drive coupler on the washer |
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| Sylvi, the burglar, slipping through the 7" gap in the bars |
We also go to Doña Eva's to buy packets of fresh tortillas quite often. They crank out tortillas at an amazing rate.
Enjoyed your transparency! I, too, have begun to question my motives in posting pictures and even the "good deeds" God allows me to do sometimes! It's not a pretty picture to discover that I may be more interested in pleasing people than pleasing God! "Create in me a clean heart, O God!"
ReplyDeleteThank you Sheena for understanding what I wrote, It is difficult sometimes to find that ballance between keeping those who are interested in your life and what you're doing and "grandstanding" those good deeds.
DeleteWe need to have you over for dinner some night soon.