Secretariat and Charleston Chew candy bars

I have always loved horses. As a young boy I wanted a horse of my own in the worst way. I read every book on and about horses. I pleaded with my dad to let me have one, to no avail. For some strange reason, one year Charleston Chew candy bars, (do they still have those), ran a contest. "Mail in 5 candy bar wrappers with your name and address to enter a drawing to win a pony, or a horse if you prefer". (The year before, the prize had been a real monkey). Scout's honor! This was not what an already chubby 9 year old  boy who dreamt of having his own horse needed to hear. I faithfully consumed Charleston Chew candy bars at an alarming rate. After all, could Dad really say no when my horse I'd worked so hard to win was delivered to our doorstep?

I used to ride my bike to the county fairgrounds where they had stables for the trotters who raced at the county fairs each summer, hoping beyond all hope that one of the owners would see "something special in the lad" and ask me to help them train their horses. Yeah, I loved horses and I still do. 

Yesterday was the 143rd running of the Kentucky derby, the first race of the Triple Crown.  

I remember the first time I watched the movie Secretariat. We were at the Narrow Gauge Cinemas in our hometown of Farmington, Maine. It must have been sometime in the fall of 2010. Barbe and I were going through a very difficult situation at the church we had attended for years. Added to this, I was beginning to feel the stirrings of restlessness and dissatisfaction with the status quo of church life in general and my own life in particular. And of course with the Big 5 0 fast approaching I knew if I didn't make a life change soon, I'd probably spend the rest of my life pounding down the highways of America, which, as much as I loved it was taking its toll on me.

Secretariat

I'm not sure why, but I cried much of the way through the movie. Maybe it was the times we were going through, maybe it was just that everyone loves a movie about overcoming the odds, maybe it was just sentimental old me and my love for horses. All I know is that in the final scene when you can hear the thunder of Secretariat's hooves before he rounds the final turn and the narrator is reading from the Book of Job..."do you give the horse it's strength or clothe it's neck with a flowing mane...it paws fiercely, rejoicing in it's strength and charges into the fray...in frenzied excitement he eats up the ground; it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds..." Thunder of hooves, chills up and down my spine, Secretariat rounds turn three, 13 lengths ahead of his closest rival. The race announcer's excited voice is almost drowned by the cheers and cries of the spectators. Secretariat continues to surge ahead, his speed actually increasing, to win the Belmont Stakes, the final race in the Triple Crown, finishing with a thirty length lead and establishing a new track record of 2:24 minutes, a record that still stands. All I know, is that something established itself deep inside me at that moment and I remember leaning over to a friend sitting in front of us and whispering in a voice choked with emotion, "That's the way I want to live my life". 

Secretariat winning the Belmont Stakes by thirty lengths

That decision has motivated and moved me ever since. I don't want to live a life always holding back because of fear or worry. I want to run as hard as I can. Below, I'm including a video of Secretariat's three races in the 1973 Triple Crown. Watch it and you will see something incredible. With each consecutive race he actually runs better. That's the way I want to run. I want to finish my life stronger than when I started.

This isn't about racing against each other, or trying to get the most toys. This is about using the gifts, abilities and experience God has given us to run for Him. In our home fellowship group we have been studying through the Book of Hebrews. Chapter twelve begins like this. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." 

That's the race we are meant to run.

Question

Are you allowing fear and doubt to hold you back, entangling you in their grasp, keeping you from running your race? Don't. I encourage you, live life to the fullest. 

I want to add this thought specifically to Christians. All too often we Christians separate our lives into  the "spiritual" and the "mundane". That's a mistake. One thing I have learned here in Honduras is that ALL of Life is meant to be lived in it's entirety, each moment, each hour, each day.

  Life.  

This is the race we are to engage in. 

The Blessing of Living without Fear

Lately, and once again, even after four and a half years in Honduras I am overwhelmed with God's goodness and faithfulness to us and to the keeping of His word and His promises. What overwhelms me is how blessed we are to be here. What amazes me is that we thought we were giving up our lives, our income, everything we had worked so hard for, by moving and following God and our hearts to a foreign country. How wrong we were!

When I look at all we have gained, how much richer and fuller our lives are here, I don't know why it took us so long to get here.

This is NOT a post bragging about what we have done or obtained, but testimony to what God can do if we allow him to. I am not so naive as to believe that bad things can't, won't and haven't happened to us here. Nor that somehow we are exempt from stress, problems, challenges, sadness or even death nor so blind as to think that life in a third world country is paradise here on earth and without it's own unique issues. Life goes on all around us, enveloping us in it's chaos, turmoil, blessings and rewards. What I am saying is that obedience to God, faith in His eternal Goodness and living life without Fear produces a type of blessing unique unto itself. 

I have learned, and continue daily to learn, that Fear is one of the greatest inhibitors to enjoying the abundant life God promises. Over the past several months this has been reinforced over and over again through the Bible studies we have done in our Tuesday night home fellowship group and with it a new understanding of God's amazing plan for Reconciliation, for Provision and for Rest. It is Fear and Unbelief that most often keeps us from benefiting and enjoying what God has promised His children.

I won't lie to you. We have faced severe challenges since we moved here, but through it all the blessings we have received far outweigh the problems we have experienced. 

Some of the blessings we experience here, and only because we are here are:

• A fourth son, Carlitos. If we had not been obedient to God's command to care for orphans in their time of distress we would have missed out on the incredible blessing (and challenge) it has been to have another child. I can't even imagine what our life would be like without him. Much quieter I suppose, for one.  I'll be honest, my single, greatest fear right now is that, even though our file has been accepted, the adoption won't go through. Recently, I have been challenged to release that fear and to rest in God.

• I closed a prosperous and established business to move here. But, God has blessed us now with 6 growing businesses and two more in the works. After going without a paycheck for the first two years we were here and living mostly on savings, we are better off now than when we arrived. I can't explain it other than to say God is faithful.

• Our three sons work with us, enjoying part ownership of all we do. This is one of the greatest blessings I have ever experienced, and I doubt that if we had stayed in Maine this would have been possible. The endless opportunities that exist here has made it possible to enlarge our parent company, Inversiones Wolfe Honduras, to include a variety of businesses, thus providing work for the entire family that matches our interest and job skills. Being a key part of watching my sons grow and develop as businessmen, shouldering responsibility.....well, words cannot describe what I feel.

• We have a ministry and a purpose here which we never experienced in Maine. What we do through the Spanish Institute of Honduras, through our Bible study in Cerro Azul and our home fellowship group is deeply, deeply rewarding. Helping new missionaries through their first months in a new country to learn the language and navigate culture shock is Kingdom work with a capital K. Watching the spiritual growth in those who attend our Bible study in Cerro Azul is nothing short of amazing and a true testimony to the enabling power of the Holy Spirit in a believer's life. Our home fellowship group; mmmmm, nothing I can say will express the gratitude I have for the many, many wonderful people who have blessed and encouraged Barbe and me these past four years. In 25 years of serving God I have never, ever experienced anything that compares to the depth of relationship and fellowship, the shared joys and tears, the actual Christian community that we experience on Tuesday nights and throughout the rest of the week with those who are willing to open their own hearts and to share life with us.

• Opening our house to host the Institute and any traveler who happens to come our way has been a blessing and, yes, at times a challenge. When we first decided God wanted us to move the Institute here and to live in the same building, we had many people tell us it was a mistake and we couldn't or shouldn't do it. Once again, I won't lie; it has had it's challenges, but those have been far offset by the blessings we have received in return, by the people we have met, and the relationships we have made; all of this has only been possible because we chose to follow God's lead and give up what we thought was our right to privacy. I have learned that as a family we do need that quiet spot away from the business and busyness of having 60+ people in our house five days a week, and I believe that God is at work preparing just such a place for us.  

• It's a fact that we left friends and family, and while these cannot be replaced, I will say this: God has expanded our family here in Honduras 100 times beyond that which we had in United States... just as he promises to do if we allow Him too...and really, we didn't actually leave those in the US behind thanks to the modern technologies of the Internet and air travel. 

• The incredible opportunity to learn a new language and to live in and enjoy another culture...priceless.

I'm going to write honestly here and hope it does not offend. When I hear missionaries complaining about life in Honduras I'm not sure what to think. I seem to sense that many feel that somehow or another they have made some great sacrifice for God by moving here. Maybe what we are experiencing here is not the norm. Maybe we haven't sacrificed enough for it to hurt as others seem to have (I'm speaking tongue in cheek). I don't know, because I just don't see it that way. As my friend Tim says, also tongue in cheek, "Just suffering for Jesus". 

To me, this whole missionary thing is the best kept secret in the world. Shhhhhhh, don't tell anyone.

Fluency, the Use of the Conditional Tense, Diplomacy and the Latin Culture

As the owner of the Spanish Institute of Honduras for the past four years I have learned so much about languages and how we learn.  Not necessarily the art of teaching Spanish as a second language, I leave that to our abundantly qualified staff, but rather the challenges we English speakers encounter in learning Spanish as a second language. One of the seldom-mentioned challenges we face is understanding the differences between the Latin American and North American cultures as it pertains to the actual use of the language. Tied into and intricately connected with this issue is obviously the speaker's level of fluency.  Even as I continue to study and practice, I am aware of how much I still lack in my own understanding of this subject, which only amplifies my own desire to continue improving.

Several months ago a friend asked me to blog on the "conditional verb tense and its use in diplomacy and its cultural implications."  I have procrastinated in doing so, mainly because it is actually rather complicated...and delicate...and sensitive…, but most of all because I know I will never be able to do the subject justice.  All I can hope for is to sufficiently pique your interest so that you begin your own pursuit of the topic, especially if you are a missionary or working for an NGO in Latin America.  If you learn this tense, when and how to use it in its culturally appropriate context, you will be doing yourself and those you wish to serve a great service.

Unfortunately, in my experience, many missionaries and foreign aid workers stop far short of this level of fluency. Some because their sending agencies themselves do not recognize the long-term value in reaching fluency, some because they are unwilling to invest the nine months to one year that is needed to achieve it, some because of innocent or willful ignorance of the importance of being fluent and understanding the culture, and some because of pride, but all to the detriment of the mission. I have witnessed time and again the negative results of going only part of the way towards learning the host culture's language. The results I routinely observe in these missionaries are: a life frustrated by a lack of fluency that makes even normal daily life difficult (most often ending in a premature return to their home country), the inability to fulfill their calling or to build deep, meaningful relationships and in some cases a complete dependence on translators. In several unfortunate scenarios I have witnessed relationships destroyed because of their inability to fully and appropriately express themselves, especially in this area of understanding the cultural use of the language and its tenses.

In my opinion, ignorance of the cultural issues associated with the language is a direct result of the teaching method used in high schools, universities, and most language schools. In these contexts, the emphasis is typically on how to conjugate the verb in the conditional tense and where to use it in a sentence, never on its cultural use.  As an example of this problematic method, I have included the following explanation of the Conditional tense from StudySpanish.com (which is otherwise a very good resource and one we recommend to our students)

“Frequently, the conditional is used to express probability, possibility, wonder or conjecture and is usually translated as would, could, must have or probably."

Note: Some people confuse this tense with the subjunctive because of some similarities.

Notice there is nothing said about the use of the conditional as an expression of courtesy or as a way to mitigate a strong statement or to make a request sound more like a request and less of a demand. It says nothing of how to use it in order to be diplomatic in a disagreement or to present a differing opinion in an inoffensive way. Here is where the cultural value of the conditional should be understood and, hopefully, wielded with at least some level of skill.

In simple terms,
using the conditional tense versus the present tense is the difference between;
can I and could I, will you and would you or we want and we would like.

__________________________________________________________

I first became aware of the importance of this verb tense during a refresher course I took several years ago with one of our senior teachers. During the lesson I asked her to describe how most North Americans sound culturally to Hondurans. She blushed and at first did not want to answer. When I finally coerced her into telling me, she said "After years of working with Americans I am still shocked at how direct you all are." As she gave me real-life examples I sensed that this topic truly deserved my attention if I was serious about living, working, and ministering effectively in Honduras. Now I find myself constantly listening to Hondurans and how they phrase certain things.  I listen to Gringos and try to hear them as a Latino hears them, especially while expressing opinions or asking for something.  I listen to the tone of voice, the grammar, and the phrasing.  What I hear from Americans is most often direct, abrupt, bordering on rude, and usually totally acceptable in our own culture. Except we aren't in our own culture. We are uninvited guests in someone else's country, in someone else's culture.

By nature I am not a particularly diplomatic person.  I prefer direct, open discussion rather than polite statements - strong and earnest debate over beating around the bush.  I often become passionate about a subject. My blood boils easily. In fact, I am a typical North American. Because of this, I recently felt the need to apologize to a friend of mine, a former congressman, after a phone conversation during which I became a little too "energized."  As I hung up, I found myself involuntarily cringing as I replayed our conversation as he must have heard it. I saw him in the store a few days later and I told him I needed to ask his pardon. He laughed and asked what for, to which I replied, "During our conversation the other day I spoke to you like a Gringo. I'm sorry." He, with true Honduran politeness, kindly denied it, but I knew it was true...and I know he did too.

However, I'm learning.

A couple of years ago I was honored to participate in a community water project meeting sponsored by FAO and my friend Marlen. I learned by listening to her how to present an opposing idea in a courteous manner. A long, thoughtful pause followed by "o...podria ser..." (very long rolling of the R in ser ). How simple and polite to say, " or...it could be..." And how different from, "No, that won't work, we should do it this way" as we Americans would say. Almost weekly I sit through community meetings, water project meetings, business meetings, staff meetings, contract negotiations, and more. With each experience I gain a little more insight into the Latin Culture. Little by little I am learning, but I'm only learning because it's important to me to represent myself, my business, my mission, and most importantly the One I serve to the best of my ability.

I admire my friend Tim Nelson in many ways. He and I are the same age and I admire the fact that he still has a full head of hair (well, that feeling may be closer to envy than admiration, but there's a fine line between those two emotions anyway).  Tim grew up in Latin America and has lived there most of his life. He uses the conditional tense without even knowing he does. More importantly, Tim understands the culture. He understands that in Latin America how we express our doubts, opinions, and differences is very important. I have never seen Tim offend anyone by the way he says something. That Latino sensitivity to speech is exhibited in the way Tim speaks to Americans as well. It makes me think that maybe the way we Americans do things isn't always right after all. Podria ser?

As I read this before posting I realize there is so much more that could be said or should be said. I realize that, just as I feared, I did not do the subject justice. However, as someone who does have a fair amount of experience in this area, let me end by saying this. If you are studying Spanish, by all means learn all the "hondureñismos" and all the slang you can. They're cute and they too have their place in the culture. But if you want to be respected, if you want your opinions to be valued, your input appreciated, and if you want to be inoffensive in your speech — learn the conditional tense and how to use it properly.

Note: Should you be interested in taking a class that is specific to a grammatical/cultural topic such as the conditional tense (or any other tense), we offer one-on-one lessons geared specifically to your needs and your level of fluency here at the Spanish Institute of Honduras. Visit us at www.ispeakspanish.org or on Facebook for more information. We now have online classes available at spanishinstituteofhonduras.com or contact us by email at mark@spanishinstituteofhonduras.com for more information.

"Come as friends, leave as family" - The Spanish Institute of Honduras, Thanksgiving Day, 2016