The Moment I have Dreaded

From the moment our first child, Mark, came into my life I have been dreading this moment. The moment when we as parents let go and send him on his way as an adult, ready to begin life on his own, to follow his own course, his own dreams. That moment came yesterday as Barbe and I left him at the airport in San Pedro Sula so he could take the red eye on Spirit Airlines to Ft. Lauderdale and then on to Boston. From there he switches to a bus to Augusta, Maine and then to Grammy's mini van for the drive home to Farmington.

It's not like he's gone for good, he'll be spending a month in Maine and coming back to Honduras, but it's like a precursor of things to come. All three of my boys literally grew up on the road with me. Mark began traveling with at the age of 18 months. We would often be gone for a week at a time. He loved being in the truck with me and was always ready to go, even after just arriving home. He still loves to travel. I guess he comes by it naturally, as do I. His grandfather, my own father, at the age of 82 is getting ready for another trip to the far outback of Kenya in two weeks.

Mark, about 18 months old in the drivers seat of my 1993 Kenworth

As demanding as the trucking industry has been over the years, I will never regret the enormous amounts of time life on the road has allowed me to spend with my three sons. What awesome memories! It was the rare occasion that I was ever without one of them, traveling the 48 states. Later, as I began to work in the area of natural disasters, Mark worked with me, cheerfully putting in 12 hour days, 7 days a week, doing a man's job.

Mark, operating my Hood 8000 knuckle boom.

This trip home for Mark is for the primary purpose of volunteering at CEF's Camp Good News. Since 2003, Mark has either been a camper or volunteer staff...every year. Barbe volunteers there each year as well and Ben has been a camper, but for Mark, Camp Good News has been the highlight of the year. Before we moved to Honduras, Mark made me promise that he would be able to return this summer.

Mark (center w/red stripe shirt) and his cabin cerca 2005.

Camp Good News is one of the best run Christian youth camps I know of. Of course it is the staff there who makes the difference. Their leadership and love for the kids who come to camp, really is an example to all of us. Even so, camp wouldn't happen without the many volunteers from around New England, most who come year after year to give a week of their time, and probably their vacation, to serve at Camp. You guys are the best!

Mark and other cabin mates during one of the activities.
 

This year, Mark will be a junior counselor again. This is what he loves doing the most. Of course he will have time while he is there to spend time with Mama and Grammy and hang out with some of his friends, too.

For me, the hardest part is letting go. I understand that I really can't protect him or anyone, but I like to think I can. I hope that I have done all I can as a father to prepare him for making his own decisions, wisely, but in the end, each of us makes our own way in the world. Mark is ready for that, but I miss him already.

Being a father to my sons has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I am proud of each one of them and thank God almost daily that I have been given the privilege of being their father.

 

Mark, I'm proud of you and the man that you have become.

Dios le bendiga!