The Moment I have Dreaded

From the moment our first child, Mark, came into my life I have been dreading this moment. The moment when we as parents let go and send him on his way as an adult, ready to begin life on his own, to follow his own course, his own dreams. That moment came yesterday as Barbe and I left him at the airport in San Pedro Sula so he could take the red eye on Spirit Airlines to Ft. Lauderdale and then on to Boston. From there he switches to a bus to Augusta, Maine and then to Grammy's mini van for the drive home to Farmington.

It's not like he's gone for good, he'll be spending a month in Maine and coming back to Honduras, but it's like a precursor of things to come. All three of my boys literally grew up on the road with me. Mark began traveling with at the age of 18 months. We would often be gone for a week at a time. He loved being in the truck with me and was always ready to go, even after just arriving home. He still loves to travel. I guess he comes by it naturally, as do I. His grandfather, my own father, at the age of 82 is getting ready for another trip to the far outback of Kenya in two weeks.

Mark, about 18 months old in the drivers seat of my 1993 Kenworth

As demanding as the trucking industry has been over the years, I will never regret the enormous amounts of time life on the road has allowed me to spend with my three sons. What awesome memories! It was the rare occasion that I was ever without one of them, traveling the 48 states. Later, as I began to work in the area of natural disasters, Mark worked with me, cheerfully putting in 12 hour days, 7 days a week, doing a man's job.

Mark, operating my Hood 8000 knuckle boom.

This trip home for Mark is for the primary purpose of volunteering at CEF's Camp Good News. Since 2003, Mark has either been a camper or volunteer staff...every year. Barbe volunteers there each year as well and Ben has been a camper, but for Mark, Camp Good News has been the highlight of the year. Before we moved to Honduras, Mark made me promise that he would be able to return this summer.

Mark (center w/red stripe shirt) and his cabin cerca 2005.

Camp Good News is one of the best run Christian youth camps I know of. Of course it is the staff there who makes the difference. Their leadership and love for the kids who come to camp, really is an example to all of us. Even so, camp wouldn't happen without the many volunteers from around New England, most who come year after year to give a week of their time, and probably their vacation, to serve at Camp. You guys are the best!

Mark and other cabin mates during one of the activities.
 

This year, Mark will be a junior counselor again. This is what he loves doing the most. Of course he will have time while he is there to spend time with Mama and Grammy and hang out with some of his friends, too.

For me, the hardest part is letting go. I understand that I really can't protect him or anyone, but I like to think I can. I hope that I have done all I can as a father to prepare him for making his own decisions, wisely, but in the end, each of us makes our own way in the world. Mark is ready for that, but I miss him already.

Being a father to my sons has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I am proud of each one of them and thank God almost daily that I have been given the privilege of being their father.

 

Mark, I'm proud of you and the man that you have become.

Dios le bendiga!



Love Thy Neighbor

Last night, violence ended the life of a young man we all knew. He was best friends with one of my boys best friends.  Shots were fired into the cab of the pick up that he and his brother were sitting in, killing both of them.

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "What a shame, but that's what happens when you live in Honduras, the murder capital of the world." But you're wrong on one count. It happened in the parking lot of the Golden Corral on Normandy Blvd, Jacksonville, FL. But you are absolutely right on the other count. It's a shame.

No one knows yet why this crime was committed. There is speculation that this was because of the "not guilty" verdict from the Zimmerman trial. No one knows for sure why, but it's a shame.

We knew this boy. He had come to church several times. He lived next door to our friends and was best friends with their son. Violence like this really, really bothers me. These men who shot this young man were once children. I have rarely, if ever, met an evil child. How do you go from being a kid playing basketball with the other kids in the neighborhood to being a killer?  I don't know, nor can I fathom it.

My mind goes to the parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10. The question had been raised as to what must be done to inherit eternal life. Jesus had responded by saying, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and your neighbor as yourself." (paraphrased) The one who had first asked the question then asked, "Who is my neighbor?" (Apparently, he found it easier to love God than to love one's neighbor and was seeking clarification.) So Jesus tells the story of a man on his way to Jerusalem, waylaid by thugs, beaten and robbed and thrown in a ditch where he lay naked, bleeding and half dead. Two "religious" men came by, a priest and a Levite. Both crossed to the other side of the road, unwilling to involve themselves, perhaps late for church or an important meeting. The third man was a Samaritan, a man hated and despised by the Jews, which most likely the man in the ditch was. It is said that the Samaritan took pity on him. That he placed him on his donkey, took him to an inn, cared for him, paid for his room and left a blank check with the inn keeper.

Then Jesus asked the man, "Who was the neighbor to the man who had fallen into the hands of robbers?" The man replied, "The one who showed mercy." "Go and do likewise," Jesus commanded.

Today, I stopped at the side of the road to wait on Thomas to arrive from a friends house. In front of me lay a man, in the ditch. I glanced at him and mentally crossed to the other side of the road. He's drunk I said. He's not my problem I said. I got on my donkey and drove away, feeling slightly self righteous.

The truth is, I did not know if he was drunk or hurt or even alive. The only thing I know is I did not want to involve myself. I took no pity on this man. I chose to look the other way. If I could go back and do it over again, I would like to think that I would do it different, but the truth of the matter is I would probably do the same thing. Why? Because I do not really believe that I am to love my neighbor...at least not that neighbor. It's easy to love the person who lives beside me...you know, that neighbor. He asks nothing of me. We casually encounter each other in the "porton" and enquire after each other's health with genteel "saludos" and "Dios le bendigas". Yes, it's easy to love him.  Jesus, why do you always have to set the bar so high? Why do you have ask me to love the neighbor in the ditch? Why?

My mind goes back to those shooters. Back to when they were kids. Was there no one to love them? Is that why they could so easily become cold blooded killers? What if their parents, their neighbors, their church had loved them? Would things have been different? Would those two young men still be alive today?

Something I am learning; the commands of Jesus, as difficult as they may be, are often for our own good. Love lived abundantly produces a harvest of love in others. But it takes time. That's the way it is with a harvest, it just takes time. Do you want to make a difference in your world? Then Love thy Neighbor.

My heart goes out to this family who lost two sons last Sunday night and to Robert who lost his best friend. May the God of all comforts, comfort you in this time of sorrow.

The Sacred Supporter

When I was a kid I had friends who were avid fishermen. They'd do anything to keep each other from finding their favorite fishing hole. In my many years in the transportation industry I have learned to protect my own "fishing holes". I have become a firm believer in the truth of our government's World War II slogan, "Loose lips sink ships".  I can't tell you the number of times I have listened to another driver on the CB radio bragging about his customer and how good his rates were and how he stays busy year round. In a very competitive industry where everyone is looking for customers like this, all I had to say was..."break one - nine, hey, what's their phone number, I've been looking for a customer exactly like that". You could almost hear the gulp and then the long pause, the back pedaling and an abrupt change of conversation. Big mistake.

Competition is tough. To stay in business you need to be constantly on your toes, constantly ahead of the game. You gotta' stay sharp, focused. You've got to think contracts, no compete clauses and fuel surcharges. I thought I'd left all that behind when we came down here. After all, missions isn't business, we support ourselves (and by that I mean we literally fund our own living expenses) which means we aren't looking for supporters and down here we're all working for the same boss, same cause, same team, right?

And then I realized that this wasn't actually quite true. Missions is run on donations and Supporters are SACRED. We don't sign no compete clauses, but it's understood. You don't mess with my supporters and I won't mess with yours. And honestly, I don't really have a problem with that. If you've taken the time to build a relationship with someone or a church, that's fine. After all there's only so much to go around. That's the way we've been taught to think. That's good business. That's the way fishermen think. But is that the way "fishers of men" should think? Hmmmm.

See, I recently had opportunity to experience the flip side of this. Go and See Ministries, that's our "business" name here -go ahead, click the link...check us out- recently had our first "client" come down to see about "investing" in our "work". They sent some "experts" to help with a "project" we were starting. I pitched our "vision" plan and the needed "funding" required to "move forward". They really liked what they saw and I think they may "partner" with us. (Hey, I hope you can tell I'm using irony here to make a point.)

But here's the honest truth. There is a dark and devious side to me that I abhor. I mean it. I found myself becoming protective of my "clients", my "team" my potential "funding" for my "projects". I'm embarrassed to say it, but...there it is for all the world to read. Michael Wolfe was more interested in seeing his little kingdom enlarged than seeing the Kingdom of God enlarged. God help me; am I really the only self centered Christian out there? Does any one else find themselves acting or thinking like this? Part of me hopes and prays that for Jesus' sake I am the only one, but the other side, the dark devious side of course, suspects that this is not the case. I suspect this because in many ways we have turned missions into business. I suspect this because people are people no matter what we do and money and power have the same influence wherever they are.

Okay, so what should we do when we see something we dislike in ourselves.  Something like protecting our customer base so we can be sure there's enough for us. My suggestion is to confront it with honesty and then do the exact opposite. So here you are, against my better judgment, against every finely honed business instinct, here's the only church support base information for future projects we have.

New Generation Fellowship, Jacksonville, FL.
 

Give them a call or better yet, stop in and see them next time you're in Jacksonville. They're on S. Cahoun Rd just north of I-10. They're a small church with a limited budget, but they're good people and they'll help you if they can. Pastor Steve, you can thank me later.





 

Putting the Pieces Together

It's the rainy season here, what they call "winter". Of course, for us northern folks, it's not even close to that. I really wasn't sure what to expect during the rainy season and obviously we're not through it yet, but we did come prepared with things to occupy the evenings. Things like model cars and jig saw puzzles.

We're going to have to find a bigger table as this puzzle is 3 feet long!

Some of my best childhood memories are those of long winter evenings in Maine spent sitting around the dining room table working a jig saw puzzle with my own father or building model trucks. We worked, mostly in quiet, enjoying each other's company. We became pretty good at puzzle solving too. One of the most difficult ones we ever did was a puzzle that we had bought at a yard sale and which came in a plastic bag. No picture, no piece count, no clues, just a true challenge.

I don't know if problem solving or establishing a vision for the future is a learned trait or a an individual character trait, but both of these processes have amazing similarities to working a jig saw puzzle. I've always been pretty good at all three. My ability to see the pieces and the end result made me an not only an excellent LTL dispatcher, but long range visionary as well. I sometimes wonder if this ability was developed during the hours I spent working puzzles. Let's compare some of the similarities between the two.

With a puzzle you start with a picture on the box. The picture is usually a beautiful scene somewhere. It looks like somewhere you'd like to go and see and it catches your attention. The first first step is to spread out all the pieces, turning them right side up so you can see the colors, the detail. Then you separate the "edge" pieces and put them together to lay out the framework. When this is done you begin to sort pieces and work the larger more defined areas of the puzzle. You constantly refer back to the box top to see the big picture. Slowly, the inside begins to fill in, the lesser detailed areas becoming clearer as there are fewer and fewer choices. It takes patience and persistence, attention to detail. Sometimes other people would join us. I'll always remember how often people would try to force a piece that was an obvious misfit into place. Most people didn't have enough patience either and would walk away after a few minutes. Finally, you're down to the last piece or two. A lot of times there would be one missing. Down on our hands and knees we'd go scouring the floor under the table hoping to find it. Usually we'd accuse each other of hiding it so we could be the one to have the honor of placing the final piece. Sometimes those accusations were correct. But usually, there it would be hidden behind a table leg or under the edge of the carpet.

A lot of people talk a lot about the need for "vision" in an organization, business or a church. And I agree, it's very important. If you don't know where you want to go, chances are you'll never get there. If you're the type of leader who has a problem with developing vision for your organization, why don't you pull out a 1000 piece jig saw puzzle, something with a nice, peaceful country scene and see what lessons puzzle making has to offer.

To develop a vision you need to start with the big picture, an idea of where you would like to go, what you want to see the end result look like. It needs to be something that makes you say, "Yes, this is where I want to be". Don't be afraid to think outside the box, to be different, to be creative. Make sure your plan is clear, detailed and easily referenceable. Go back as often as needed to the big picture so you don't get side tracked and forget where it is you want to end up. Lay out all the pieces, all the parts of your plan, in detail. Then set the framework. This is the basic structure of what you want to accomplish and sets the boundaries for you to work in and is vitally important. These boundaries need to be very clearly delineated. Then you can start filling in the details, working through them as the puzzle develops. All this requires patience. Don't try to force something to fit. It either does or it doesn't. When you get down to the last few details, they should fall into place...unless some one's messing with you! If you're missing a few details, don't give up. Keep looking, they're usually there somewhere, it just may take ingenuity to find them, a little thinking outside the box or in places you'd never expect to find them. 

Most importantly, have fun. Enjoy the process. Keep in mind the beauty of what you're creating. Bringing others into the process, if they have the patience and the vision to work with you, will be a huge benefit to you. Having some one else's viewpoint on the problems or issues you face is hugely beneficial, to say nothing of the companionship, encouragement and mutual creativity that another person will bring to the table. There's nothing quite as rewarding as seeing a plan start from nothing more than an idea and begin to come together little by little. A clear cut vision for the future is a thing of beauty...so is a completed jig saw puzzle.

An Unexpected Purchase

It's 13 years old. It's diesel. Has 5 speeds and get's good fuel mileage. It's WAY under powered. It's very popular here. It carries 6 passengers in the cab and 20? in the back. What is it?

It's a carro de paila!
 

(That's what they call a pick up here.
Loosely translated it means a car with a bucket or pan on the back)

 

 Several weeks ago we decided to buy this 2000 Isuzu KB 2.5 liter, 4 door, diesel pick up. We had not intended to be a 2 car family here, but for several reasons buying this truck seemed like the right thing to do. One of the biggest reasons is fuel mileage. It is becoming apparent that I will be traveling more and more and although the van is awesome, especially with a full load of passengers and gear, it is hard on gas and was cutting into our budget pretty hard when we drive a lot. The second reason is that Barbe really wants to be able to get out more. Back home she drives our 37' motor home all the time, but here with the narrow streets and other driving hazards we thought she would feel more comfortable in something smaller and easier to maneuver and park.

 

Apart from the added expense of a second vehicle, I was hesitant to purchase it because it sets us even further apart from the vast majority of people here. Owning one car does that already, owning two really does. Here, perception is more of a reality than the truth is. As Gringos we are already perceived to be wealthy...and typically we are by Honduran standards. Owning a car, let alone two, proves it. Weighing the pros and the cons of the purchase, we decided to go ahead and do it. So, the "fiesta bus" will be parked and only brought out on special occasions, like....fiestas. Or when I need it for groups or well drilling. Or maybe when the boys with their long legs just can't take riding in the back seat anymore. No, wait...that's what the pick bed, excuse me, bucket is for.



Reminds me of traveling with my dad, but with a bit more room