As the owner of the Spanish Institute of Honduras for the past four years I have learned so much about languages and how we learn. Not necessarily the art of teaching Spanish as a second language, I leave that to our abundantly qualified staff, but rather the challenges we English speakers encounter in learning Spanish as a second language. One of the seldom-mentioned challenges we face is understanding the differences between the Latin American and North American cultures as it pertains to the actual use of the language. Tied into and intricately connected with this issue is obviously the speaker's level of fluency. Even as I continue to study and practice, I am aware of how much I still lack in my own understanding of this subject, which only amplifies my own desire to continue improving.
Several months ago a friend asked me to blog on the "conditional verb tense and its use in diplomacy and its cultural implications." I have procrastinated in doing so, mainly because it is actually rather complicated...and delicate...and sensitive…, but most of all because I know I will never be able to do the subject justice. All I can hope for is to sufficiently pique your interest so that you begin your own pursuit of the topic, especially if you are a missionary or working for an NGO in Latin America. If you learn this tense, when and how to use it in its culturally appropriate context, you will be doing yourself and those you wish to serve a great service.
Unfortunately, in my experience, many missionaries and foreign aid workers stop far short of this level of fluency. Some because their sending agencies themselves do not recognize the long-term value in reaching fluency, some because they are unwilling to invest the nine months to one year that is needed to achieve it, some because of innocent or willful ignorance of the importance of being fluent and understanding the culture, and some because of pride, but all to the detriment of the mission. I have witnessed time and again the negative results of going only part of the way towards learning the host culture's language. The results I routinely observe in these missionaries are: a life frustrated by a lack of fluency that makes even normal daily life difficult (most often ending in a premature return to their home country), the inability to fulfill their calling or to build deep, meaningful relationships and in some cases a complete dependence on translators. In several unfortunate scenarios I have witnessed relationships destroyed because of their inability to fully and appropriately express themselves, especially in this area of understanding the cultural use of the language and its tenses.
In my opinion, ignorance of the cultural issues associated with the language is a direct result of the teaching method used in high schools, universities, and most language schools. In these contexts, the emphasis is typically on how to conjugate the verb in the conditional tense and where to use it in a sentence, never on its cultural use. As an example of this problematic method, I have included the following explanation of the Conditional tense from StudySpanish.com (which is otherwise a very good resource and one we recommend to our students)
“Frequently, the conditional is used to express probability, possibility, wonder or conjecture and is usually translated as would, could, must have or probably."
Note: Some people confuse this tense with the subjunctive because of some similarities.
Notice there is nothing said about the use of the conditional as an expression of courtesy or as a way to mitigate a strong statement or to make a request sound more like a request and less of a demand. It says nothing of how to use it in order to be diplomatic in a disagreement or to present a differing opinion in an inoffensive way. Here is where the cultural value of the conditional should be understood and, hopefully, wielded with at least some level of skill.
In simple terms,
using the conditional tense versus the present tense is the difference between;
can I and could I, will you and would you or we want and we would like.
using the conditional tense versus the present tense is the difference between;
can I and could I, will you and would you or we want and we would like.
__________________________________________________________
I first became aware of the importance of this verb tense during a refresher course I took several years ago with one of our senior teachers. During the lesson I asked her to describe how most North Americans sound culturally to Hondurans. She blushed and at first did not want to answer. When I finally coerced her into telling me, she said "After years of working with Americans I am still shocked at how direct you all are." As she gave me real-life examples I sensed that this topic truly deserved my attention if I was serious about living, working, and ministering effectively in Honduras. Now I find myself constantly listening to Hondurans and how they phrase certain things. I listen to Gringos and try to hear them as a Latino hears them, especially while expressing opinions or asking for something. I listen to the tone of voice, the grammar, and the phrasing. What I hear from Americans is most often direct, abrupt, bordering on rude, and usually totally acceptable in our own culture. Except we aren't in our own culture. We are uninvited guests in someone else's country, in someone else's culture.
By nature I am not a particularly diplomatic person. I prefer direct, open discussion rather than polite statements - strong and earnest debate over beating around the bush. I often become passionate about a subject. My blood boils easily. In fact, I am a typical North American. Because of this, I recently felt the need to apologize to a friend of mine, a former congressman, after a phone conversation during which I became a little too "energized." As I hung up, I found myself involuntarily cringing as I replayed our conversation as he must have heard it. I saw him in the store a few days later and I told him I needed to ask his pardon. He laughed and asked what for, to which I replied, "During our conversation the other day I spoke to you like a Gringo. I'm sorry." He, with true Honduran politeness, kindly denied it, but I knew it was true...and I know he did too.
However, I'm learning.
A couple of years ago I was honored to participate in a community water project meeting sponsored by FAO and my friend Marlen. I learned by listening to her how to present an opposing idea in a courteous manner. A long, thoughtful pause followed by "o...podria ser..." (very long rolling of the R in ser ). How simple and polite to say, " or...it could be..." And how different from, "No, that won't work, we should do it this way" as we Americans would say. Almost weekly I sit through community meetings, water project meetings, business meetings, staff meetings, contract negotiations, and more. With each experience I gain a little more insight into the Latin Culture. Little by little I am learning, but I'm only learning because it's important to me to represent myself, my business, my mission, and most importantly the One I serve to the best of my ability.
I admire my friend Tim Nelson in many ways. He and I are the same age and I admire the fact that he still has a full head of hair (well, that feeling may be closer to envy than admiration, but there's a fine line between those two emotions anyway). Tim grew up in Latin America and has lived there most of his life. He uses the conditional tense without even knowing he does. More importantly, Tim understands the culture. He understands that in Latin America how we express our doubts, opinions, and differences is very important. I have never seen Tim offend anyone by the way he says something. That Latino sensitivity to speech is exhibited in the way Tim speaks to Americans as well. It makes me think that maybe the way we Americans do things isn't always right after all. Podria ser?
As I read this before posting I realize there is so much more that could be said or should be said. I realize that, just as I feared, I did not do the subject justice. However, as someone who does have a fair amount of experience in this area, let me end by saying this. If you are studying Spanish, by all means learn all the "hondureñismos" and all the slang you can. They're cute and they too have their place in the culture. But if you want to be respected, if you want your opinions to be valued, your input appreciated, and if you want to be inoffensive in your speech — learn the conditional tense and how to use it properly.
 |
| "Come as friends, leave as family" - The Spanish Institute of Honduras, Thanksgiving Day, 2016 |
